“Lost in the mirror”

I look into the mirror, and all I see is ugliness;

Searching for beauty where there is none.

Perfection is my deadly weakness;

Taking myself to the grave, I run.

Insecurity rules where God does not;

Whispers of self-hate is all I hear.

Flooded with the messages I was taught;

Remembering the rejection that I fear.

Why does my appearance have to be,

Something I can never attain.

When will my soul ever be free,

And not be trapped in this tangled chain.

Loneliness lingers with isolation;

Of a struggle that nobody understands.

This struggle is leading me to my destruction,

Acceptance and love I never got from mom and dad.

My reflection is one that I despise;

Everyone is looking at my flaws.

Nobody just sees me, they just see my size;

If I dare gain any weight, love withdrawals.

I keep searching for acceptance that’s only based,

On being perfect in every way.

My life of misery, I wish can be erased.

Freedom from the bondage of what I weigh.

Kelly