Throughout writing my memoir so far, I have found it tempting to not be completely honest in fear of what future readers will think.

To those not subscribed to my blog, my memoir is about the reconciliation of my faith with my sexual identity coming from a conservative Christian background in the ‘90s.

It is one of many aspects of my healing journey. I am taking future readers along with me on this journey, not even sure where it will end up going.

I know the different viewpoints of society and Christians, and fear being completely honest about my life will end up just confirming certain viewpoints.

For example, I am tempted to downplay some of the traumatic experiences of my life so that I don’t end up confirming the viewpoint of some that trauma can cause homosexuality.

Another issue that I am tempted to downplay is of my mental health issues in fear of confirming the viewpoint that homosexuality is a form of mental illness.

I realize society has come a long way from those viewpoints for the most part, but I know that they still exist in some people’s mind.

However, I keep telling myself that I am writing my truth, not other people’s truth. If I don’t write completely honestly, then I can’t expect to fully heal.

As I said, I am not quite sure the direction my healing will take me. The end result is currently unclear. All I know is that this memoir is about writing my truths, whatever they may be.

I do know this, that God is walking along side of me as every word gets written. He knows what my final healing will look like in every aspect of my journey. He also knows the truth about my experiences and will know if I am not being completely honest about my life.

Being 100% honest with my experiences is not for my future readers because they won’t know either way if I am being honest, but most importantly it is for my own benefit and healing.

I am changing the names and places of my story to protect the privacy of those who are a part of it, and I state that in the beginning of my book.

That isn’t the kind of honesty I am talking about. Names and places don’t matter like experiences do and my experiences have to be told from exactly the way I experienced it.

I wish I knew ahead of time what true healing will look like for me, but I don’t. All I know is where I am right now on this journey. Only God knows what it will look like. What is important here is that I am telling this story authentically. That’s the only way healing can happen.