Today’s affirmation that I want to talk about is, “It is okay to be who I am.” I have created a list of statements that I tell myself of things that I am striving to believe. This used to be the way I lived…behind a mask.

However, as I remove the mask, I become real and vulnerable. I am terrified of that vulnerability, but it is only in doing so that I can truly heal. I don’t want to hide behind a facade for the rest of my life. I desire to experience peace and joy. I fear rejection so much so that I have lived behind a lie to shield me from it.

Authenticity to me is needed in every aspect of my life. My spiritual life, my emotional life, my relational life, and my identity. Each aspect has a different cover. However, is anyone of those masks really who I am? No, none of them are.

If anyone dares to take off the mask, I become an injure cat, striking out and hissing at the one who is trying to help me. What does the one who is trying to help me need to do to get to the wound and take care of it? They need to sit down, keep a bit of distance, and let me slowly calm down enough to trust that they really are trying to help me.

I have found that “someone” in my life and she has committed herself to my healing so that I can be the person I have always been but have been too afraid to let anyone see. I have a record that plays in my head of all the messages I got as a child and throughout my young adulthood that tell me who I really am is worthless. People in my own family, flesh and blood, has given me those messages. I long for freedom.

I live as a girl in prison who has not committed a crime. The only crime she has commit is existing, but I am finding out that there are people in this world who truly can love me for the person I am, not who I pretend to be. I can take off my mask with her and be vulnerable with her and know that she doesn’t intend to hurt me. She is helping me take off the masks in every aspect of my life, one by one.

If you struggle with hiding behind a mask, know that you are worth taking it off and truly being who you are. There are people in this world who if you give them a chance, can love you for you, not who you pretend to be.

Thank you, Cat, for being that person for me.

Storm