A brand new start every morning:

Today’s daily zen gave me a sense of hope. I never thought about the fact that every morning is a new start, a new chance where the mistakes of yesterday are gone, and today is a new start.

I tend to focus on the past failures and mistakes that inevitably affects my days going forward. I am constantly feeling regrets, guilt, and shame for yesterday’s mistakes.

I need to remember that we human beings are just that, human beings, and we are not perfect. Perfection has been a way of life for me, causing me so much anxiety and pain.

I am trying to learn that I can’t be perfect all the time, and sometimes my lack of perfection is a lot. I mess up a lot, and the anxiety and pain just increases by the day, affecting my mental and emotional health.

I have driven myself so crazy with anxiety, guilt, and shame that it has made me suicidal, and in the past, landed me in the hospital or brought me to an actual suicide attempt.

This need for perfection has made my life miserable. I can’t say I know how to let that go most of the time, but I am trying.

Lately, this need for perfection has been awful, bringing me once more to feeling like giving up. I am tired of the overwhelming pressure to have things all figured out. To have the answers right now.

My therapist is trying to get me to know that healing is a process. That I won’t have everything figured out in a day, or even a week or month. That it takes time and I can’t rush things.

She has been the only one in my life to accept all of my imperfections, and not judge me for them. She has been the most patient person I have ever known and has stuck with me for several years. She says she is never giving up on me.

I am trying to believe that. That who I am is not perfect and that has to be okay. I am a human being that sometimes more than others makes mistakes.

And that today is a new start, and if I make mistakes today, tomorrow is a new start. These are the things I am trying to tell myself. Here is the daily zen that made me consider this new way of thinking.

Here’s a beautiful quote from my Gratitude app to brighten your day 😇 https://gratefulness.page.link/yqbs

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