I’m allowing myself to make mistakes…

I tell myself constantly that I am always messing things up, that I can never do anything right, but I am trying to learn that I am human and humans are not perfect. They can make mistakes.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, even losing friends because of it, but I need to forgive myself for those mistakes because dwelling on them will only make me hate myself, like I tend to do.

I am trying to learn how to love myself and accept myself despite my mistakes. Somewhere along the line I learned that making mistakes is not allowed, and I either became angry and made as many mistakes as I could, or strived for perfection, often bouncing back and forth between them.

But if I learn to accept my mistakes as being a part of life, I will neither have to go out of my way to make them or have to strive for perfection. I will have balance in my life, a healthy sense of control with also the flexibility to allow myself to be human.

Do you tend to feel like you always mess things up, or can never get it right? Please hear what I am learning for myself and that is you are human. Humans make mistakes.

When I was in college, I made perfect grades, but at what cost? Severe anxiety, worsening of my eating disorder, terror of making a mistake, trouble sleeping because I was always thinking about, “what if I get it wrong?” Or “what if I don’t get an A?”

All that pressure I put on myself because I feared making a mistake. I had always sought out my parents approval, and never got it until I was making myself sick trying to be the perfect student and have the perfect body, and as a result being the perfect daughter.

But I have since learned that I have much more peace in my life now that I am trying hard not to strive for perfection in every aspect of my life.

I even decided that college wasn’t really what I wanted to do with my life. My dream has always been to be a writer, but my dad thought that writing was not important. That there was no money in writing, and maybe that is true for some writers, but I am not in it for the money. I am in it to try to help people if I can and because it is my passion.

So, all that pressure, energy, and stress to get perfect grades was wasted energy. Now that I am seeking to do what I am passionate about, I have so much less stress and anxiety, and my eating disorder is getting better. Not perfect, but at least better.

I feel a sense of peace in my life now that I’m not striving for perfection.

If you struggle with striving for perfection, let me tell you, you are wasting so much energy and sacrificing your sense of peace, your sense of being human, and your sense of what it means to matter.

I hope you will learn to be gentle with yourself, forgiving yourself for mistakes, and allowing yourself to be human.

Sara

I found an idea on thinking more positively on my Gratitude app. What do you think? https://gratefulness.page.link/a7ew