This is something my therapist has always told me…

Sometimes I am terrified of my feelings. I feel at times they will overtake me and I won’t ever feel any other feelings.

But my therapist says feelings are neither Good nor Bad, they just are, and they all can be acknowledged.

But I believe this quote is true as well. I can choose which feelings to surf, which ones to feed and dwell on.

But I have to at least acknowledge they are there because denying any feeling gives the feeling power over you.

You might think it is gone because you have pushed it so far down, that you hardly think about it.

Like me, one of the feeling I tend to push down and ignore is anger. I am terrified of my anger, but when I push it down and don’t acknowledge it, it comes out as severe irritation, frustration, stress, and it is usually sparked by the little things that sometimes go wrong.

Something as simple as dropping something, or trying to fix something on the computer, or my dog not listening to me. All things that I deal with constantly, but it starts with a spark and then blows up into a tornado of stress.

All this is because I am not acknowledging the deep rooted feeling of anger at the real source.

For me, it isn’t about computer issues, dropping something, or my dog not listening to me. The real reason for my anger is the rejection and isolation I have felt all of my childhood. Until that is acknowledged, I am going to keep getting rageful and stress because I may not realize it, but my denial is actually feeding the anger.

It is only when I stop and acknowledge the source of my anger and deal with it, that I can let it go, not feeding it or riding that surf.

This quote almost was a quote I disagreed with because I thought to myself, “sometimes I can’t control how I feel,” and that may be true in one sense, but I can gain control over it if I simply acknowledge it, face it, and deal with it.

This something I am trying to do right now in my life- acknowledge my anger, face it head on, and deal with it, so I don’t have to ride the surf anymore.

I have never done this before and it is terrifying and I am not quite sure I know how to deal with it, but I am choosing to work with my therapist to acknowledge it and face my anger, so I can deal with it and then let it go.

I hope and pray this is the answer for my constant irritability and rage, but I am willing to give it a try.

What feeling are you riding the surf of and need to acknowledge, deal with, and need to let go?

Here’s a beautiful quote from my Gratitude app to brighten your day 😇 https://gratefulness.page.link/yqbs