Significant life events and the passage of time have completely changed how I see the world. I don’t want to go into graphic detail, but early abuse and continued abuse throughout my young adult years shaped my perspective for a long time. I learned to expect hurt, to stay on guard, and to measure safety in tiny moments instead of feeling like the world was basically a safe place. Those experiences made me grow up fast and see life through a lens of survival instead of hope.

Another significant turning point in how I see life was being diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, and ADHD. Getting those diagnoses put names to things I had been living with for years. At first it was overwhelming and scary, but over time it has helped me understand my own mind better. Instead of just feeling ‘broken’ or ‘too much,’ I started to see that my brain has specific struggles and needs, and that I could learn to work with it instead of constantly fighting myself.

Medication has also played a big part in changing my perspective. Once I started the right meds, things slowly became more manageable. My moods, focus, and daily life didn’t magically become perfect, but the symptoms became more treatable and I could finally start building routines and coping skills on a more stable foundation.

Medication has been a long road for me. I spent years trying different meds that didn’t help, and it wasn’t until about eight years ago that I finally found a combination that helped stabilize my life. It didn’t fix everything, but with the right medication I could manage mood swings, focus better, and actually build routines that stuck.

Throughout my life, while I was struggling with these diagnoses and searching for the right medication combination, I went through nine suicide attempts that almost took my life. Looking back, I am deeply grateful that I survived those moments. Surviving them gave me the chance to finally find a medication combination that stabilized me and to begin building a life that feels more possible.

Another major shift in my perspective came when I realized I am a member of the LGBTQ community. This discovery did not happen in a vacuum. I grew up in a home where I was taught that homosexuality was a sin, so understanding my identity turned into a long, painful battle inside myself. For a long time, I tried to silence that part of who I am, because I felt like it automatically put me on the wrong side of God and the people around me.

As time has passed, my perspective on both life and faith has continued to change. I started doing my own research, reading books, and listening to people with different experiences. Slowly, I began to see God differently too. Instead of only believing what I was taught growing up, I started to develop a personal relationship with God that was not based on strict doctrine or fear. In this process, I have really re‑evaluated the message that Jesus gave. I’ve chosen to base my faith more on his example of love, acceptance, and equality than on human rules and doctrine. I am trying to extend that same love to other people, even people who are very different from me, because Jesus taught that the most important thing is love for your neighbor. Focusing on that message has changed how I see myself and other people, and it has opened up space for me to be both LGBTQ and a person of faith whose story is still unfolding.

All of these experiences have changed how I see life and the world around me. Surviving abuse, finding my identity as LGBTQ, being diagnosed with DID, bipolar disorder, and ADHD, and finally finding the right medication combination have all shaped my perspective. The passage of time, research, and personal reflection have helped me move from a place of constant fear and survival into a more hopeful and grounded way of living. I see myself now as someone who is still healing, still learning, and still growing. I view life in a more positive way, with more compassion for myself and others, and I am grateful that I am still here to keep writing my story.