For me, a personality trait that raises a red flag is the lack of empathy towards people. Someone who just brushes over something you said that was vulnerable, and they quickly change the subject or turn the attention back to themselves.

The lack of give and take. When they do nothing but take and don’t give you the same attention that you give them.

Those are the kind of friendships I don’t trust because I can never be free to express my feelings and thoughts. I am always expected to hear their feelings and thoughts constantly.

That kind of friendship is fake. They are only friends with you if you focus all your attention on them. It isn’t genuine.

I have very few friendships that are genuine. I wear a mask of strength and stability all the time. I grew up that way. My parents feelings and thoughts were all that mattered and I was expected to have no needs of my own.

I was an invisible presence in my home. I tend to attract people who I am still the invisible presence.

I learned my needs don’t matter, my thoughts are not important, my feelings had to always be happy, and I couldn’t have my own beliefs. I basically wasn’t allowed to exist.

So, those kind of traits raise a red flag, but unfortunately, even if that flag is raised, I will remain someone’s invisible friend because that is all I know.