If I could go back and witness any historical event, I would choose to stand at the foot of the cross when Jesus was crucified.

Even as a queer woman and member of the LGBTQ community who was once told that people like me were excluded from God’s love, I believe more and more that his death was for the whole world, including me. 

My faith was deeply shaken when I realized I was a lesbian after growing up being taught that homosexuals were going to hell; for a long time I carried the fear that I was permanently damaged and disqualified.

In the last several years I’ve been slowly challenging those beliefs and rebuilding a faith that is more inclusive and healing, but my relationship with God is still in the process of being repaired. 

Being present at the crucifixion, seeing with my own eyes the moment that Christians say changed everything, feels like it would anchor that fragile faith in something concrete and remind me that Jesus’s sacrifice wasn’t limited to people who fit a certain mold, but was an act of love that changed things for the whole world.