What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

View all responses

For years, I blamed myself for the abuse I endured when I was young. I judged myself as harshly as I was treated, leading me to many suicide attempts. Thankfully unsuccessfully. 

I had many perpetrators who instilled the message in my mind that I was somehow broken, less than, worthless, and never going to succeed in life. For a long time, I believed them and blamed myself. 

However, what I know now is that they were wrong. I have value as a person just for being me. I have dreams that I have the right to pursue. I have talents that I can appreciate whether or not others do. I have learned to take care of my emotional, mental, and physical needs. I have the right to my own opinions and beliefs, and they matter, regardless of whether anyone else agrees.

If I had known these things when I was young, I would have seen that the messages they tried to control me with were lies, and I would not have accepted them as truth. I would have saved myself from years of pain, but I cannot go back and undo years of conditioning and suffering. All I can do now is heal from the damage they caused me.

I am not who others say I am. For whatever reason they believed what they taught me does not mean that I must own that for myself. I have chosen not to take responsibility for their actions, and I am not giving them a single second of my life. The only thing I am responsible for is my own actions. I do not need to adopt the beliefs of others to define me.

I can not go back in time and change what happened. I can not change the way others see me and the beliefs they had and maybe still do, but I can change the way I respond. I can respectfully disagree and stand strong in who I am, my opinions, beliefs, and feelings. I don’t have to let the messages they gave me be my truth and let them have power over my life. I am strong enough now to say: I am a worthwhile human being who deserves to live.